Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father's Day

I hope that for you this is a day to remember a wonderful man who made you feel loved and valued and safe and he is still part of your life. If so, cherish that gift!

This is for everyone else.

This is for those who have lost a loving father. I encourage you to remember those wonderful times you had with him and maybe write a letter to him telling him what it has meant for you that he was your father and how he helped to shape the person you are.

This is also for all of you who didn’t have a wonderful father.
1) Remember any moments when he was loving—and do it for YOU because remembering those moments helps YOU.
2) Remember and value any men in your life who have ever helped you feel loved and valued and safe.
3) Write a letter to your father, a letter YOU WILL NEVER SEND! This is for YOU. Write it out on PAPER—there’s a reason that’s important. Write out all the hurt and anger and love you feel and have felt for him. Give yourself a good 15 minutes to do so. Then, when you are done, if you have a safe place to do so, crumple up the paper, put it in a bowl and burn it. As it burns, let go of the hurt and anger as much as you can. (If you can’t burn it, rip it into tiny pieces and flush it down the toilet!)
4) Write down all the reasons your father SHOULD have loved and valued you and how a loving father would have treated you. Keep that paper. Read it and remind yourself often that this is what all children deserve—including the child you were.
5) Celebrate all that is good in your life and the wonderful person you have become.

I wish all of you could be celebrating a wonderful, loving father, still a part of your life. But know that if you are not, you are not alone today.



Christine Keach said...

April, thanks for this post! I'm just reminded how lucky I am. I lost my father when I was 25 and I still miss him, but I often think of him and smile.

I'm also lucky because I have a wonderful stepfather who's been in my life since I was at least 16. And, I still have one of my grandfathers who is now 87.

Life is too short not to celebrate the special people in your life and anyone who has shaped your world. I hope you had a positive father-figure in your life.

April said...


I'm so glad you had a loving wonderful father, stepfather, AND grandfather in your life. As you say, we need to celebrate the special people in our lives.

I have been lucky enough to have had some wonderful people come into my life over the years. Every day brings the possibility of more wonderful people appearing in my life. And I am conscious of the impact I have on the lives of others. We truly are all interconnected.