In life, we often wear masks. As a speaker I heard this weekend said, there's Who we are, Who we THINK we are, Who we pretend to be, and Who others think we are.
In novels, this is also true for the characters we create. And often it is the differences in those 4 images that generates plot. If you're a writer and you're stuck planning out a story, a useful exercise might be to write down for each major character the answer to those four categories.
By the same token, in real life, it can be useful to look at those four categories about ourselves. Looking at the discrepancies might give us insight into what might be causing problems and how maybe, just maybe, we can address the issues and resolve some of them. It's not for the faint of heart, of course, but the results can be very powerful.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Online Public Speaking Class
If you've taken any of my online classes or ever heard me speak, then you know that my goal is to always make material easy, intuitive and fun. I'm about to offer a class on public speaking for writers (though anyone might find it useful). Lessons will be short, easy to follow, and give you real tools to be effective as a speaker and maybe even have fun doing so. I'll talk about pitching to an editor/agent, giving workshops or other presentations, handling interviews with print reporters as well as on radio and television.
Here's the information. The class is being offered through the Outreach chapter of RWA so you'll need to use the link to their website if you are interested in signing up!
TITLE: Public Speaking for Writers
DATE: July 7 – July 18, 2008
INSTRUCTOR: April Kihlstrom
LEVEL: Beginner to Advanced
COST: $10 Outreach Member/Others $20
Deadline to receive application and payment: July 5, 2008
Course Description:
Does public speaking make your stomach clench and your skin go cold? Do you panic at the thought? This 2 week online course will show you simple techniques to make anyone a more relaxed and effective speaker.
Topics will include handling interviews, offering pitches at conferences and presenting workshops. Everything from creating content for an effective presentation to how to dress to handling those pesky physiological responses will be covered.
By the end of this class, you'll be able to enjoy getting up in front of a crowd—or at least know you'll be okay.
Bio:
April Kihlstrom is the author of 31 published romance novels. She has achieved the rank of ATM Bronze in Toastmasters, won speaking contests, taught public speaking in California, been interviewed on television and presented highly acclaimed workshops at both national and regional conferences.
To sign up, please go to Outreach International Online Campus. Click on current classes then look at July to find mine.
I hope you will consider signing up for this course--especially if public speaking in any way intimidates you. It doesn't have to! As I said above, my goal will be to make this fun, easy and intuitive.
Here's the information. The class is being offered through the Outreach chapter of RWA so you'll need to use the link to their website if you are interested in signing up!
TITLE: Public Speaking for Writers
DATE: July 7 – July 18, 2008
INSTRUCTOR: April Kihlstrom
LEVEL: Beginner to Advanced
COST: $10 Outreach Member/Others $20
Deadline to receive application and payment: July 5, 2008
Course Description:
Does public speaking make your stomach clench and your skin go cold? Do you panic at the thought? This 2 week online course will show you simple techniques to make anyone a more relaxed and effective speaker.
Topics will include handling interviews, offering pitches at conferences and presenting workshops. Everything from creating content for an effective presentation to how to dress to handling those pesky physiological responses will be covered.
By the end of this class, you'll be able to enjoy getting up in front of a crowd—or at least know you'll be okay.
Bio:
April Kihlstrom is the author of 31 published romance novels. She has achieved the rank of ATM Bronze in Toastmasters, won speaking contests, taught public speaking in California, been interviewed on television and presented highly acclaimed workshops at both national and regional conferences.
To sign up, please go to Outreach International Online Campus. Click on current classes then look at July to find mine.
I hope you will consider signing up for this course--especially if public speaking in any way intimidates you. It doesn't have to! As I said above, my goal will be to make this fun, easy and intuitive.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Father's Day
Today, of course, I find myself thinking about fathers and I came up with a list of some of the qualities of a good father (or mother, for that matter...)--whether in fiction or in real life:
1)Sees and nurtures the best in the child—and helps the child build on those strengths.
2)Encourages the child to believe in him or herself.
3)Loves deeply and gives of himself AND sets good limits on the child's behavior.
4)Helps out the child whenever it's a good idea AND knows when to step back and allow the child to discover what he or she can do on his/her own.
5)Admits mistakes and knows how to apologize.
6)Cheers on a child's success AND knows that surviving failure can be just as important and sometimes more so and helps the child know that failure is NOT the end of the world but only a beginning to the next steps forward.
7)Teaches the child financial responsibility, how to handle credit and the value of deferred gratification.
8)Reads and reads to his child and encourages a love of learning—whether book learning or life skills.
9)Encourages a child to be true to him or herself AND to think about others as well.
10)Sets an example of moderation in all things.
11)Is willing to be silly and play like a child.
12)Is willing to be a grownup and make the hard decisions when that's what's called for.
13)Cares enough to set limits and hold to them.
14)Shows the child how to be as safe as possible in a sometimes uncertain world AND encourages that child to LIVE, really LIVE even if that sometimes entails risks.
15)Understands that the harm a parent does goes far deeper than any harm anyone else can do and the good goes deeper as well--and he chooses to do the good.
I have known some wonderful men in my life. I am profoundly grateful to those men who helped me feel safe or helped me to grow to become the person I am now. Some of those men have done both. Some have been friends or married to friends and it was/is a joy to watch how loving some relationships can be.
Today I honor all those men who have been truly loving fathers—or tried their best to be.
1)Sees and nurtures the best in the child—and helps the child build on those strengths.
2)Encourages the child to believe in him or herself.
3)Loves deeply and gives of himself AND sets good limits on the child's behavior.
4)Helps out the child whenever it's a good idea AND knows when to step back and allow the child to discover what he or she can do on his/her own.
5)Admits mistakes and knows how to apologize.
6)Cheers on a child's success AND knows that surviving failure can be just as important and sometimes more so and helps the child know that failure is NOT the end of the world but only a beginning to the next steps forward.
7)Teaches the child financial responsibility, how to handle credit and the value of deferred gratification.
8)Reads and reads to his child and encourages a love of learning—whether book learning or life skills.
9)Encourages a child to be true to him or herself AND to think about others as well.
10)Sets an example of moderation in all things.
11)Is willing to be silly and play like a child.
12)Is willing to be a grownup and make the hard decisions when that's what's called for.
13)Cares enough to set limits and hold to them.
14)Shows the child how to be as safe as possible in a sometimes uncertain world AND encourages that child to LIVE, really LIVE even if that sometimes entails risks.
15)Understands that the harm a parent does goes far deeper than any harm anyone else can do and the good goes deeper as well--and he chooses to do the good.
I have known some wonderful men in my life. I am profoundly grateful to those men who helped me feel safe or helped me to grow to become the person I am now. Some of those men have done both. Some have been friends or married to friends and it was/is a joy to watch how loving some relationships can be.
Today I honor all those men who have been truly loving fathers—or tried their best to be.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Sewing and Life
I'm probably late posting again. That's because I've been sewing. My daughter is going to a friend's wedding and I've been making a dress for her to take with her. She is so beautiful these days and the dress looks so lovely on her. And...it's finally done.
As I was sewing, I found myself thinking that just as with writing, asking the right questions beforehand can save one a lot of grief when sewing. Questions like:
What will she wear this for?
What will the climate be?
What is her personal style?
What colors look best on her?
What fabric drapes well for the kind of dress I want to make for her?
What's the optimal strategy for THIS pattern with THIS material?
And when the unexpected happened—as it always does, whether in sewing or writing or life—what's the optimal way to address THIS challenge?
The upshot is that my daughter now has a dress she says is the nicest thing she's ever owned. She's thrilled, she looks great in it, it should be perfect for the climate and situation.
You'll notice that most of the questions are about what was right for HER. And that's the key. We're all different, our situations, emotional states, etc. are unique to who we are. If we start with what's right for us and go from there, we have the best chance of figuring out something that will work effectively in any situation—sewing, writing or life. (Note: This doesn't mean being utterly selfish! If relationships are important to us, then that goes into the equation, too..... And if we begin with knowing ourselves and what's right for us, then we're more likely to find ways we can stretch in new directions and be able to help others, too.)
As I was sewing, I found myself thinking that just as with writing, asking the right questions beforehand can save one a lot of grief when sewing. Questions like:
What will she wear this for?
What will the climate be?
What is her personal style?
What colors look best on her?
What fabric drapes well for the kind of dress I want to make for her?
What's the optimal strategy for THIS pattern with THIS material?
And when the unexpected happened—as it always does, whether in sewing or writing or life—what's the optimal way to address THIS challenge?
The upshot is that my daughter now has a dress she says is the nicest thing she's ever owned. She's thrilled, she looks great in it, it should be perfect for the climate and situation.
You'll notice that most of the questions are about what was right for HER. And that's the key. We're all different, our situations, emotional states, etc. are unique to who we are. If we start with what's right for us and go from there, we have the best chance of figuring out something that will work effectively in any situation—sewing, writing or life. (Note: This doesn't mean being utterly selfish! If relationships are important to us, then that goes into the equation, too..... And if we begin with knowing ourselves and what's right for us, then we're more likely to find ways we can stretch in new directions and be able to help others, too.)
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day 2008
I've never had to go to war (though some might argue my childhood WAS a war zone, it's still not the same thing). I haven't lost a family member to war either. I've been lucky that way.
I think too often we've found ourselves in wars that should never have happened. But that doesn't take away from the courage of those who have been sent to fight in them. Today I want to take a moment to salute those who have gone to war—both those who died and those who came back changed because of what they saw and did and what happened to them.
My generation was the last to face the draft. It's hard for me to imagine the courage it took to go to war when there was a draft and the courage to choose to go when one doesn't have to go—as young men and women are doing every day now.
Today I want to honor those who have had the courage to be in the military and do what they can to keep us all safe. And to pray that soon this world finds a way to exist in peace so that no more men and women--of any nation--have to go to war. That we find a way to resolve disputes without fighting.
I think too often we've found ourselves in wars that should never have happened. But that doesn't take away from the courage of those who have been sent to fight in them. Today I want to take a moment to salute those who have gone to war—both those who died and those who came back changed because of what they saw and did and what happened to them.
My generation was the last to face the draft. It's hard for me to imagine the courage it took to go to war when there was a draft and the courage to choose to go when one doesn't have to go—as young men and women are doing every day now.
Today I want to honor those who have had the courage to be in the military and do what they can to keep us all safe. And to pray that soon this world finds a way to exist in peace so that no more men and women--of any nation--have to go to war. That we find a way to resolve disputes without fighting.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Time to Think
I know I'm a week late posting my blog. Sometimes I need a little extra time to think. I've been doing that the past couple of weeks—mulling over life, this writing business I'm part of, and the world in general. I don't want to waste your time with words that aren't worth reading.
My son may be going into housing. He lives with my ex-husband and has Down syndrome and is 31. It will be a momentous change for him, for my ex and in some ways for me. I hope that it will lead him to new levels of maturity. I worry he won't be able to adapt or they won't be able to handle him. I think about the extended changes this may create in all our lives. Please keep him in your prayers.
A friend will be undergoing surgery again in June. Her 8th? 9Th? since she was diagnosed with breast cancer close to two years ago. She has no markers for the cancer any more but her body has had a hard time recovering from each surgery. Please keep her in your prayers.
I've finished my most recent online class and will soon be teaching one on public speaking (especially for writers) through the Outreach Chapter of RWA (details to be posted soon). Debora Dale recently had a blog interview with me about Book in a Week at—if anyone is curious what that's like, read it here: How Writers Write - An interview with April Kihlstrom . At any rate, I've been mulling over what other classes I might offer and on what kind of schedule. If you've got a class you'd like to see, please let me know!
My daughter just took her qualifying exams in graduate school. She's brilliant and wonderful and worries about not only succeeding but also making a difference in this world. She will—I have no doubt of that. I also know she needs to know I love and believe in her. And that got me thinking how much we all need to hear that someone loves and believes in us—no matter what. How often do we think to say it to those closest to us? How often do we hear it when we need to most? What difference might it make in our relationships if we heard and said it more?
I've lost my battle to save my zucchini plant. The birds tore it to bits before I realized what was happening. I'm still hoping that at least one of my two tomato plants will produce fruit. And I'm still experimenting and thinking about ways to deal with those pesky fire ants.
So...it's been a week or two of reflection for me. Hope all is well with all of you!
My son may be going into housing. He lives with my ex-husband and has Down syndrome and is 31. It will be a momentous change for him, for my ex and in some ways for me. I hope that it will lead him to new levels of maturity. I worry he won't be able to adapt or they won't be able to handle him. I think about the extended changes this may create in all our lives. Please keep him in your prayers.
A friend will be undergoing surgery again in June. Her 8th? 9Th? since she was diagnosed with breast cancer close to two years ago. She has no markers for the cancer any more but her body has had a hard time recovering from each surgery. Please keep her in your prayers.
I've finished my most recent online class and will soon be teaching one on public speaking (especially for writers) through the Outreach Chapter of RWA (details to be posted soon). Debora Dale recently had a blog interview with me about Book in a Week at—if anyone is curious what that's like, read it here: How Writers Write - An interview with April Kihlstrom . At any rate, I've been mulling over what other classes I might offer and on what kind of schedule. If you've got a class you'd like to see, please let me know!
My daughter just took her qualifying exams in graduate school. She's brilliant and wonderful and worries about not only succeeding but also making a difference in this world. She will—I have no doubt of that. I also know she needs to know I love and believe in her. And that got me thinking how much we all need to hear that someone loves and believes in us—no matter what. How often do we think to say it to those closest to us? How often do we hear it when we need to most? What difference might it make in our relationships if we heard and said it more?
I've lost my battle to save my zucchini plant. The birds tore it to bits before I realized what was happening. I'm still hoping that at least one of my two tomato plants will produce fruit. And I'm still experimenting and thinking about ways to deal with those pesky fire ants.
So...it's been a week or two of reflection for me. Hope all is well with all of you!
Friday, May 09, 2008
The Power of Storytelling
I'm finishing up teaching my Revisions class online and I find myself thinking again about the profound power of storytelling. It's how human beings have always tried to make sense of the world and the people around them. Stories carry power. Some are true, some are not. It's not always clear to me which matter more.
It's one thing to recite statistics about, say, cancer. It's another to hear the story about the woman who lost her sister to cancer or how the children coped with the loss of their mother. It's one thing to see statistics concerning the massacre in Rwanda and another to hear the personal story of a woman who survived. It's one thing to be told we can be who we want to be and another to read about a woman like us who is true to herself and not only finds someone who accepts her but who loves her BECAUSE she is who she is.
Stories have power. And we writers get to create them. And in our stories, we can make things come out right in the end. Or, wrong in the end, if we want to provide a powerful warning about some danger.
Days like this, I can't imagine anything I'd rather be than a writer.
It's one thing to recite statistics about, say, cancer. It's another to hear the story about the woman who lost her sister to cancer or how the children coped with the loss of their mother. It's one thing to see statistics concerning the massacre in Rwanda and another to hear the personal story of a woman who survived. It's one thing to be told we can be who we want to be and another to read about a woman like us who is true to herself and not only finds someone who accepts her but who loves her BECAUSE she is who she is.
Stories have power. And we writers get to create them. And in our stories, we can make things come out right in the end. Or, wrong in the end, if we want to provide a powerful warning about some danger.
Days like this, I can't imagine anything I'd rather be than a writer.
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