Left later than I wanted, drove longer than I wanted. One curiousity--I apparently drove through a 4.0 earthquake and didn't even notice! Did notice the rush hour traffic on the north side of LA. Got lost trying to find the hotel where I planned to stay for the night so it was close to 9pm when I finally got to my room.
I'm glad to be on my way. That's imortant to me. And all things considered, it could have been worse. I may not have needed to drive quite so far today, but I'd rather go farther than necessary than find myself not getting to Austin in time.
It's funny. I had dinner with a friend on Monday and found myself telling her how, at one point in my life, I was paralyzed at the thought of driving somewhere I hadn't been before. Those of you who know about my cross country trek a year and a half ago, will be laughing at the thought! But I was--paralyzed, terrified, feeling as if it was something I couldn't do. I've come a long way since those days. And that's the thing. If there is one message I would like to share with others, it is that we can continuously grow and change and create the lives we want to have. We can become the person we want to be. We can do it at any age, too. Every time we face down a fear, we become braver. Each time we overcome a fear, we prove to ourselves that we are more capable than we thought we are. Even when our attempts don't work out perfectly, we gain information and the next time will have a better chance to succeed.
I'm glad I didn't notice the earthquake. I'm glad I wasn't scared by the rush hour traffic around LA--though I'll admit I wish I'd been able to miss it. Going 5 mph for an hour isn't my idea of fun. And even though I got lost looking for my hotel, I was able to figure out what to do and eventually get there.
My point is that things don't have to be perfect to be a success. Today was a success--despite all the glitches that occurred. I am a day and more than 400 miles closer to my destination.
Happy traveling, everyone!
April
Friday, September 23, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Advice on Moving
It's very strange, packing up my things and getting ready to move out of this lovely little apartment that has been home for the past year or so. And yet, it feels very right to be making this move.
Funny, I don't think about it until other people comment on how unusual it is for a woman my age to be making a move like this so quickly.
At any rate, I thought I would share some of the lessons I'm discovering as I get ready to move:
1) Organization. Totebags are great for packing things that need to go in the car. No wasted space, they conform to whatever shape I need them to be, and I can organize them. Each essential category--car, health, new home, etc.--can have its own totebag. Of course, as a writer, I have lots of totebags from all the writers conferences I attend. But truly it helps. When I get a call that the insurance agent needs certain information to write the policy on my new home, I know exactly where to find what I need. And when I get there, I will know how to find what I need quickly.
2) Books. The postal system has a great rate for media/book mail. Mind you, you must be careful to follow the regulations but if you do, it's a great rate.
3) Change of address. You can do a change of address online and even ask the post office at the other end to hold mail until after your move in date.
4) Arranging services. Sometimes it's faster and easier to call rather than try to do it online, even though we're all accustomed to doing things online these days.
5) Allow time to laugh as you pack. It's a great way to reduce stress.
6) Make lists. Lists are helping me remember the million and one things I have to do every day to get it all done in time! They also reduce stress because I'm not up half the night worrying that I will forget things.
7) If you go househunting, make sure you know what you can afford BEFORE you begin to look. Otherwise, you may find yourself looking at a home you love but can't really afford OR not looking at one you can.
8) Finances. Banks these days will lend people mortgages for fairly generous amounts. More than might be wise for YOU. Know yourself and what level of cash reserves you need to feel comfortable/safe. You do not have to buy as much house as a mortgage broker would allow. Take into account ALL expenses--mortgage payment, property taxes, homeowner's insurance (& PMI if you put down less than 20%), utilities (including water and sewer, phone and cable).
9) Get prequalified for a mortgage (and boost your credit score if you can). Also, know whether in your area houses typically go for more, less, or at asking price.
10) Know that your credit score affects everything from interest rates on mortgages to insurance rates to getting a job.
11) Know what you want and need in a house and keep looking until you find it.
Well, back to packing. Back to saying good-bye to a place that I've loved and get ready to move to a place I love even more.
If any of you are getting ready to make a change, good luck! May you discover just the right place for YOU.
April
Funny, I don't think about it until other people comment on how unusual it is for a woman my age to be making a move like this so quickly.
At any rate, I thought I would share some of the lessons I'm discovering as I get ready to move:
1) Organization. Totebags are great for packing things that need to go in the car. No wasted space, they conform to whatever shape I need them to be, and I can organize them. Each essential category--car, health, new home, etc.--can have its own totebag. Of course, as a writer, I have lots of totebags from all the writers conferences I attend. But truly it helps. When I get a call that the insurance agent needs certain information to write the policy on my new home, I know exactly where to find what I need. And when I get there, I will know how to find what I need quickly.
2) Books. The postal system has a great rate for media/book mail. Mind you, you must be careful to follow the regulations but if you do, it's a great rate.
3) Change of address. You can do a change of address online and even ask the post office at the other end to hold mail until after your move in date.
4) Arranging services. Sometimes it's faster and easier to call rather than try to do it online, even though we're all accustomed to doing things online these days.
5) Allow time to laugh as you pack. It's a great way to reduce stress.
6) Make lists. Lists are helping me remember the million and one things I have to do every day to get it all done in time! They also reduce stress because I'm not up half the night worrying that I will forget things.
7) If you go househunting, make sure you know what you can afford BEFORE you begin to look. Otherwise, you may find yourself looking at a home you love but can't really afford OR not looking at one you can.
8) Finances. Banks these days will lend people mortgages for fairly generous amounts. More than might be wise for YOU. Know yourself and what level of cash reserves you need to feel comfortable/safe. You do not have to buy as much house as a mortgage broker would allow. Take into account ALL expenses--mortgage payment, property taxes, homeowner's insurance (& PMI if you put down less than 20%), utilities (including water and sewer, phone and cable).
9) Get prequalified for a mortgage (and boost your credit score if you can). Also, know whether in your area houses typically go for more, less, or at asking price.
10) Know that your credit score affects everything from interest rates on mortgages to insurance rates to getting a job.
11) Know what you want and need in a house and keep looking until you find it.
Well, back to packing. Back to saying good-bye to a place that I've loved and get ready to move to a place I love even more.
If any of you are getting ready to make a change, good luck! May you discover just the right place for YOU.
April
Friday, September 16, 2005
Transitions
I love the Bay area just south of San Francisco. I love the people, I love the weather, and I love the spirit of new ideas. This has been a wonderful place to begin to renew my spirit and discover who I am when I am no longer defining myself primarily as a wife and mother, the way I did for so long. Now, though, it's time for a change.
When I took my cross country trip, I spent a week or so in Austin, Texas and I liked it. I wasn't ready to stay there then, but I liked it. So when I flew to Texas last week to see if I still liked it as much, I was optimistic about maybe moving there. I got more than I bargained for.
I arrived just as evacuees of Hurricane Katrina were arriving. Every where I went, every person in Austin, it seemed, was doing something to help. There was a sense of quiet determination to simply do whatever needed to be done. There was an understanding that this could be a long term thing. They were still going to do whatever needed to be done.
I know that's not unique. People all over this country are helping. And yet, at the same time, it was a powerfully moving experience to watch an entire city in action like this. Once more, it affirmed for me that these were people I wanted to know.
When a disaster like Katrina occurs, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. It's scary to think our lives can be turned upside down and we might be powerless to stop it from happening. It is precisely at times like this that we need to be reminded of the power that each of us has within ourselves to make a difference, even in the midst of disaster. It is profoundly important to see that when we work together, as all the people of Austin were, our individual power doesn't simply get added together, but rather it is multiplied.
As I said, I know Austin isn't unique. And that's a good thing. I'd like to believe that people every where in this country would respond with the same willingness to do whatever is needed. It's just that this is the experience I was surrounded by. And it made my decision to move to Austin even easier.
April
When I took my cross country trip, I spent a week or so in Austin, Texas and I liked it. I wasn't ready to stay there then, but I liked it. So when I flew to Texas last week to see if I still liked it as much, I was optimistic about maybe moving there. I got more than I bargained for.
I arrived just as evacuees of Hurricane Katrina were arriving. Every where I went, every person in Austin, it seemed, was doing something to help. There was a sense of quiet determination to simply do whatever needed to be done. There was an understanding that this could be a long term thing. They were still going to do whatever needed to be done.
I know that's not unique. People all over this country are helping. And yet, at the same time, it was a powerfully moving experience to watch an entire city in action like this. Once more, it affirmed for me that these were people I wanted to know.
When a disaster like Katrina occurs, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. It's scary to think our lives can be turned upside down and we might be powerless to stop it from happening. It is precisely at times like this that we need to be reminded of the power that each of us has within ourselves to make a difference, even in the midst of disaster. It is profoundly important to see that when we work together, as all the people of Austin were, our individual power doesn't simply get added together, but rather it is multiplied.
As I said, I know Austin isn't unique. And that's a good thing. I'd like to believe that people every where in this country would respond with the same willingness to do whatever is needed. It's just that this is the experience I was surrounded by. And it made my decision to move to Austin even easier.
April
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Changes in Life
A year and a half ago, a year after my divorce after 50, I put my things in storage, packed up my car, and started a road trip to discover where I wanted to live. I'd started out in NJ and drove across country, taking 2 1/2 months for my trip. I not only visited cities I thought I might want to live in, but I also visited places I'd read about and always wanted to see--like the Alamo and the Grand Canyon and Native American cliff dwellings.
I ended up, of course, in the one place I had ruled out because of cost--the Bay area just south of San Francisco. (I should explain that I'm a writer and that gives me a certain flexibility most people don't have.) I was stopping in Palo Alto only to meet up with my daughter, a recent graduate of Stanford University, who was going to be in town to see her friends. But...
A little voice kept nudging me to look at apartments because I knew I would love spending time here. I looked on Craigslist and sure enough, found listings for studios I could afford. A studio apartment? Me? Surely I'd go nuts in such a small place! But that same little voice nudged me to call one particular listing. And it was love at first sight. A converted top story of a house. A landlady whose daughter had read my books. A hummingbird on site as she showed me around. Built in bookshelves (a necessity for a writer!) and storage space for my sewing in the window ledge. I took it. All in the space of one morning.
I've never regretted that choice. It's been a blessing to be here. And I've had the chance to meet wonderful people and teach some classes in public speaking and creative writing for kids through a great place called the Communication Academy in Cupertino. But...
I've been restless, too, wanting a house. A place to set down roots. And so I've been looking for some time--driving up to Oregon, looking online at places I've been and places I might want to go. This past week, I flew to Austin, Texas, not even totally sure I wanted to move there. By Friday, I'd had an offer accepted on a house and by the end of the month, we close.
I'm posting all of this because I know how scary some of the changes in my own life have been and I wanted others, especially other women my age, to know that there are stll wonderful opportunities ahead of us! We can still make changes and go after our dreams. We can create the lives we want to have.
We cannot always choose what happens TO us, but we always have the power to choose how we deal with what happens. It's nice to know it can work out and I wanted to share that.
In my next post, I'll be writing a little about what I saw in Austin, especially regarding evacuees of Hurricane Katrina. I'd like to share what I saw that showed so clearly the power of the human spirit.
Long term, I plan to write about both life and writing. As I said, I'm a writer--31 published novels. I'll be sharing some of the things I've discovered about the writing process as well as the tools I've found that can help us not only survive difficult times in our lives but actually triumph over them.
Until then, wishing you good changes in your lives!
April Kihlstrom
I ended up, of course, in the one place I had ruled out because of cost--the Bay area just south of San Francisco. (I should explain that I'm a writer and that gives me a certain flexibility most people don't have.) I was stopping in Palo Alto only to meet up with my daughter, a recent graduate of Stanford University, who was going to be in town to see her friends. But...
A little voice kept nudging me to look at apartments because I knew I would love spending time here. I looked on Craigslist and sure enough, found listings for studios I could afford. A studio apartment? Me? Surely I'd go nuts in such a small place! But that same little voice nudged me to call one particular listing. And it was love at first sight. A converted top story of a house. A landlady whose daughter had read my books. A hummingbird on site as she showed me around. Built in bookshelves (a necessity for a writer!) and storage space for my sewing in the window ledge. I took it. All in the space of one morning.
I've never regretted that choice. It's been a blessing to be here. And I've had the chance to meet wonderful people and teach some classes in public speaking and creative writing for kids through a great place called the Communication Academy in Cupertino. But...
I've been restless, too, wanting a house. A place to set down roots. And so I've been looking for some time--driving up to Oregon, looking online at places I've been and places I might want to go. This past week, I flew to Austin, Texas, not even totally sure I wanted to move there. By Friday, I'd had an offer accepted on a house and by the end of the month, we close.
I'm posting all of this because I know how scary some of the changes in my own life have been and I wanted others, especially other women my age, to know that there are stll wonderful opportunities ahead of us! We can still make changes and go after our dreams. We can create the lives we want to have.
We cannot always choose what happens TO us, but we always have the power to choose how we deal with what happens. It's nice to know it can work out and I wanted to share that.
In my next post, I'll be writing a little about what I saw in Austin, especially regarding evacuees of Hurricane Katrina. I'd like to share what I saw that showed so clearly the power of the human spirit.
Long term, I plan to write about both life and writing. As I said, I'm a writer--31 published novels. I'll be sharing some of the things I've discovered about the writing process as well as the tools I've found that can help us not only survive difficult times in our lives but actually triumph over them.
Until then, wishing you good changes in your lives!
April Kihlstrom
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